**Authors Note: Thank you all for your patience! We had a bit of delay this time around but no worries we are back on track! Please enjoy! - Stoney & Poptarrts***
I stared at Edward as he crouched in the back of the van, his hair sticking up in every direction as he gave me a lopsided and hesitant grin. He seemed to be as conflicted as I was about being face to face again after so long.
He hopped down easily, his worn Chuck Taylor's hitting the pavement quietly. As he straightened to a standing position he reached up and ran his hands through his unruly hair. I was fairly certain he hadn’t cut it since I last saw him and I felt my fingers twitch slightly as I fought an urge to rush to him and tangle my hands in the bronze waves.
I could feel my emotions taking over me faster than I could process them and I froze in place, my muscles tightening so that movement was impossible.
For weeks I had done nothing but sit in my tiny, depressing room, stare at the blank dreary yellow walls, and dream of Edward Cullen. I had played and replayed in my mind his expressions, his laughter, and every part of his face from his long, dark eyelashes to his perfectly imperfect nose. Now, standing in front of him, I realized that the picture I had of him in my mind had been completely wrong.
As I peered, awestruck, into his beautiful face I could see that I had absolutely underestimated his beauty. I wasn't a complete delusional idiot. I was aware that by most standards the majority of the female population might not find him as perfect as I did. Even now I had to smother a laugh as my eyes took in the stain on his shirt, and the fact that he looked like he hadn’t taken a shower in a few days. All of these little things from the wrinkles in his clothes to the tear in the leg of his jeans made me love him that much more. He was my gamer boy.
Obviously becoming unnerved by my awkward staring, Edward rocked back on his heels and then turned away from me. I watched with mild curiosity as he leaned into the van and opened the plastic door to the small pet carrier. Something whimpered and I could hear his voice, low and tender, as he mumbled quietly to the small ball of fur that was clutched to his chest.
I held my breath as he turned around and smiled at me, a small dog was straining and wiggling in his arms trying to break free of his hold. Edwards long fingers gripped and re-gripped the puppy as it fought against him with quiet grunts and pathetic cries.
"Bella." He greeted me with a half smile, concentrating hard on not dropping the cute little monster in his hands.
The sound of his voice was like music to me, and it immediately brought me back to the dream I had last night. I shifted uneasily as I felt myself becoming wet at the memory of his lips and tongue on my inner thighs. I sucked in a quick breath and tried to calm my pounding heart. I could feel my cheeks burning with the telltale flush of my arousal.
I realized I had not responded to his greeting and my silence must have upset him because his warm expression suddenly turned into a hurt grimace. His bright green eyes were filled with concern and something else…something I couldn’t read. Anger? Forgiveness? Sadness? I couldn’t tell.
I watched as he attached a leash to the puppies collar and set him gently onto the ground. The little dog immediately sat down with a dejected look on his face and starting crying. Someone nearby cleared their throat and the sound jolted me back to reality.
I turned my head and found myself staring into the smiling face of Dr. Cullen. He was leaning against the now closed up van watching the exchange between Edward and I with an amused look on his face.
"I want to make it clear that I don’t know if this will be a reoccurring venture. I’m pretty certain that if you get caught doing anything inappropriate there will be serious ramifications. Especially since Bella’s parents do not agree that this is a good move in her therapy. However, Dr. Harper and I both feel that this is healthy for both of you." He paused and turned his gaze to Edward. "The only thing I know is that I refuse to lose my son…"
His words trailed off and the grief-stricken look in his eyes threatened to break my heart. With one last warning glance over his shoulder, Carlisle pulled open the van door and climbed inside.
He leaned out of the window and looked directly at Edward. "I will be back in two hours." With that, Edward nodded that he understood and Carlisle drove away.
I stood motionless following the retreating van with my eyes, a look of confusion plain on my face. Soon, the van had disappeared and all that was left was myself, a whimpering puppy, and Edward; both of us avoiding each other's awkward gazes.
He is avoiding me. As soon as the revelation popped into my head I felt a swell of sadness in my chest. He was here to say goodbye to me, that had to be it. That was the only reason he was being so distant and so cold. I felt as if a giant hole was being torn into my chest.
As the guilt and sadness engulfed me, I was reminded again of all the terrible things I had ever done. I realized that none of them compared to the hurt I had caused Edward Cullen. From the moment I laid eyes on him in the cafeteria that day, I should have known better. I should have stayed away and admired from afar. I should never have crossed that line with him. And now here I was, all mind fucked and broken...unable to stop the landslide of shit that I had brought upon myself.
"I'm sorry." A quiet voice mumbled beside me. He was suddenly so close I could feel the heat from his body on my bare arm. I didn't even have time to turn my head when I felt his arms around me, pulling me into an embrace. And just like that all the doubt was lifted from my shoulders. For the first time in weeks I felt complete again. Closing my eyes I leaned into him and let his essence pour over me. "I'm so...so sorry."
I didn't speak. I was too afraid that the sound of my own voice would shatter the moment we were sharing. Instead, I turned myself to face him and not looking up, I wrapped my arms around his waist pulling him into me. I nuzzled my nose and lips into his neck, and I felt his body still until the only thing moving was the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest.
We stood like this for so long I lost track of time, just holding each other, when suddenly a thought occurred to me. I pulled my head away from his chest and peered up at him, my eyes wide.
"Wait. Today is the COD champions tournament...you were supposed to be there. Why are you here?"
I heard him chuckle lightly as he looked down at me lovingly. "Bella. If I ever had to choose between the stupid fucking xbox and you...you would win. You would win every fucking time."
As he spoke the words, butterflies escaped inside of me and began waging war on my stomach. I smiled up at him and hugged him even tighter.
"I missed you." I whispered. "I'm sorry for what I did."
I heard Edward make a frustrated noise and he pulled away from me. I immediately panicked and clutched onto him refusing to let him go.
"Hey." He said sharply grabbing onto my shoulders. "Look at me. I'm not going anywhere. But I think we should go for a walk."
"You are leaving me aren't you?" I whispered sadly. "I'm so sorry Edward. I didn't mean to let Mr. Bennett touch me like that. I didn't want him to I just -"
I suddenly felt lips pressing on my lips cutting off my pitiful attempt at an apology mid sentence. I gasped, surprised at how hard he was kissing me. I felt his arm drop to my waist and he pressed my body into his, supporting my weight and holding me up so I wouldn't fall. My heart pounded against his chest and I snaked my arm around his neck so I could finally bury my fingers in his hair. I let out a moan as my hands tangled into the soft bronze waves and tugged gently.
He pulled away from me and I saw him glance up and start looking around. "We are going to fuck up our chances doing this where everyone can see. Come on, let's walk."
I felt my shoulders slump as he said the words, but I knew he was right. With my knees feeling like partially melted rubber I followed him obediently to the well worn path that wrapped around the scummy looking pond, wound into the woods around the facility and eventually ended up back at the parking lot. The puppy was yanking him forward crisscrossing back and forth over the path and taking brave leaps onto stray leaves and unsuspecting rocks.
I smiled as I watched him thinking of how much he reminded me of myself. So tough and brave on the outside but a vulnerable mess on the inside; especially once all the walls were broken down.
Once we were far enough away from the view of prying eyes Edward led us to a patch of green grass where he took my hand and sat down comfortably with his legs tucked under his body. I sank down beside him and scooted close enough so that our shoulders were touching. The puppy was thrilled that we were down on his level and started barking and prancing all around us and nipping at our fingers and hands.
"He's got a lot of energy." I commented with a small smile as he leapt into my arms and licked my chin enthusiastically.
"He's a beagle puppy...of course he does." Edward laughed pulling the puppy out of my hands and holding him up so he could get a good look at him. "This wouldn't have been my first choice for you but dad insisted. Said he reminded him of you."
Edward looked at me out of the corner of his eye and cocked one eyebrow in question.
I shrugged and leaned my forehead on his shoulder. "I guess he thought we were both just undeniably adorable and pathetic."
Edward just set the puppy down and laughed. "Yeah. That sounds about right." I punched him playfully in the stomach. "I missed you." I said earnestly staring up at him.
"Yeah. I fucking know the feeling." He joked running his hand through his hair nervously. "Bella I-"
"Edward I'm so-" We both spoke at the same time which made me giggle. "Can I just say one thing?" He asked me as he picked at the sole of his shoe, avoiding eye contact with me.
"I know the whole thing with Bennett wasn't your fault. I'm sorry I ever thought it was, I should have known better. I want you to tell someone what happened...he needs to get in trouble for that. What if he does it to someone else?"
I heaved a sigh. "I know." I knew he was right. It had been bothering me since I got to Crossroads. I should never have let him get away with that bullshit. I had been in a fucked up place emotionally at the time and took his behavior towards me as my punishment for being a sex addict.
"Will you tell someone?" He asked raising his eyebrows slightly.
"I will. I’m still not sure if anyone will believe me…but I will tell someone, I promise."
"I will make sure they believe you." He vowed, his tone cold and very serious. He shifted his weight slightly and I saw him reach deep into his jeans pocket. I tucked my hair behind my ear and leaned forward trying to see what he had in his hands. "I have something for you."
He grabbed my hand and I felt goose bumps start to pop up all over my flesh as he gently stroked the inside of my hand with his index finger, tracing the lines that were deeply set in my palm.
"What is it?" I asked him my eyes fixed on the small black object clutched in his fist.
He stopped the gentle caressing and pressed something into my palm. He curved my fingers around it and squeezed gently. "Do not let anyone catch you with this. Don’t turn the ringer on and do not leave it where someone can see it."
I glanced down and saw that he had given me a small cell phone. I stared up at him, my eyes wide. "I can’t have a cell phone. I can get in big trouble for this. Does Dr. Cullen know you brought me this?"
"No one knows about it. It’s prepaid so it’s not traceable back to me. Bella, having no contact with you is driving me crazy. I just want to be able to text you to make sure you are ok."
I nodded and rolled over so that I could push myself up on my knees and crawled towards him slowly. I reached up and put my arms around his neck and leaned in so I could brush my lips and nose along his jaw line. I inhaled, savoring his familiar scent. I felt him rest his hands on my hips and I scooted even closer to him so that our bodies were pressed together.
"Bella." He sighed in protest, his breath hot in my hair.
"Thank you for forgiving me." I said seriously, pulling back so I could look at him. "I never meant to hurt you."
Something in his expression changed. "Bella. I should have tried harder. I should have talked to your dad earlier. I should have tried to see you but I thought you gave up on me. I figured you didn’t want me anymore…you know, like you moved on. Found another guy…that kind of thing."
"I don’t want any other guy." I said quietly trying in vain to smooth his hair on the top of his head.
"You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that." His face was tilted upwards and he smiled playfully at me.
I kissed his bottom lip gently. "Good."
We spent the rest of our time talking and playing with the puppy whom we both decided to name Soap. Conversation was light and we didn’t dwell on the darkness that we had both been living in for the past few weeks. It felt like we were starting over and it made me ache to be free of the rehab center more than ever.
"How are Jasper and Emmett?" I asked as he stood up and reached for my hand to help me to my feet. I pulled myself up with one hand because Soap had passed out for a puppy nap and was curled up in the crook of my other arm.
He laughed. "They are fine. Emmett has a girlfriend now so I hardly see him."
"Really? Who?" Edward slipped his arm around my waist and bent down to kiss the top of Soap's sleepy head before leaning in to kiss the hollow spot at the base of my neck. I hummed happily as his lips made their way up my neck to my ear his kisses so light they tickled.
"Rosalie Hale." He murmured against my skin.
"Fuck me! Really? The one that looks like a Victoria's Secret model?"
He laughed. "Yep. That's the one."
"Go Emmett." Edward shrugged.
"She's a bitch. I like my girl to be able to own on xbox and have a sense of humor."
"It doesn't hurt that I'm an extremely good fuck." I laughed grabbing his hair and tugging his head back so I could stand on my tip toes and kiss him. The kiss was slow and gentle and I could tell he was trying hard to be good and trying ever harder to make this unexpected reunion last.
"Yeah. That too." He cleared his throat as he pulled away from me and gave me an embarrassed smile. I cocked one eyebrow.
"Mmmm...does sparkle puss miss me just a little bit?" I teased as I grazed my hand over the crotch of his pants. I could immediately feel the heat and firmness of his erection and the familiar ache between my legs began instantly.
"Oh no you don't." He danced sideways and avoided my hand taking several steps away from me. "Yeah, I'm hard as a fucking rock right now and yes, I want you so fucking bad it's making me see double but I am not messing this up. I just got you back and if they catch us...you will be sent away to another facility where I can't come see you."
I stuck my bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout which made him shake his head and laugh. He held out his hand, which I took, and started leading me back down the path. He was talking about Jake Black and some new girl he was dating but I wasn't really paying attention. All I could think of was Edwards enormous, hard cock, and how badly I wanted it in my mouth. Yeah, even after several weeks of therapy I was not any better when it came to sex...but I did know now that I only wanted sex with Edward. No one else.
As we rounded the corner I saw Carlisle’s red van already waiting for us. The doctor was sitting on the park bench beside Dr. Harper and I sucked in a surprised breath. I knew Dr. Cullen had said she was in agreement that seeing Edward was good for me, but it still seemed odd to me.
Wasn't the point of rehab to keep you away from the things you craved? I wondered if this was just a some sick reverse psychology bullshit. They both looked up as we came into view and I saw Dr. Cullen nudge Dr. Harper and they both smiled at us.
"Did you have a good visit then?" Dr. Harper asked as if she were asking something normal like; were we enjoying the weather? My face hurt from smiling so much so I was sure she could see the pure joy in my expression. I just couldn't wipe it away. I was with my Edward and he had forgiven me. Of course I had a fucking fantastic visit.
"Yes!" I breathed with excitement. My cheeks flushing with embarrassment at my own candid response. The three of them all laughed a little and Dr. Harper stood up so she could peer down at Soap who was still fast asleep in my arms.
"Oh! He's adorable!" She said softly petting his little head and turning her gaze to Dr. Cullen. "You don't normally do puppies. What gives?"
He just laughed. "This little one is a survivor. He and all of his litter mates had Parvo and he was the only one to survive. He is tough and strong willed and needs just a little extra love. I thought he was a perfect fit."
Dr. Harper nodded. "Yes. It would seem so."
"Bella, I had one of the orderlies bring the puppy's food, bowls, and toys, and crate to your room. There is also a packet of information for you to read about housebreaking and early obedience training. He will need to go out to potty every few hours so don't forget. Dr. Harper has already cleared it with one of the night nurses. She will escort you out if the puppy needs to go out in the middle of the night. Either Edward or myself will be back next week to check your progress." Dr. Cullen explained with a smile. "I think you will do good things for this little guy. He needs some guidance...he's naughty."
I laughed and kissed Soap's warm, soft ear. "Yes. He really is."
"Alright Edward. I am afraid time is up." Dr. Cullen looked up at his son and I could tell he understood how difficult it was for Edward to leave. "Thank you Dr. Harper...Bella. I look forward to hearing your update next week." Carlisle shook both of our hands and patted Edward on the shoulder before sliding into the drivers side and starting the engine.
"Bella, I will wait for you at the front door. I would like to start our session immediately." She gave me a knowing look and walked away, leaving Edward and I standing alone.
He stepped close to me and pressed his lips to my forehead.
"I love you. So much."
"I know." I choked as I felt tears stinging my eyes. "I love you too."
He leaned in to kiss me quickly on the lips and then angled his mouth so that it was very close to my ear, "I will get you the fuck out of here no matter what it takes. That is a promise."
With that, he turned around and climbed into his father's van and drove off. It killed me that he had to leave but I knew one day soon we would be together again.