Sunday, 21 April 2013

Coming Soon....

So Fanfic eh?
Gotten a bit mad hasn't it? 

I can't seem to go into any bookstore these days without seeing the (now normal) display of "Fifty Shades" etc all on special promotion.

Well I have one thing to say about that.

Fuck your Fifty Shades.

Call of Booty is on the return and you all better hold on to your Xbox controllers because we are about to fuck your shit up. We're gonna chew Mr Grey up and spit him out. We're gonna blow ya'll outta the water. It's gonna make your favourite fanfic look like the plot to Barneys' next adventure.

You get the picture. Literally.
So yeah.. Watch this space ;D

xx Poptarrrts & Stoney xx

Friday, 6 August 2010

Chapter I have no fucking clue...


I jumped and threw my game controller about five feet in the air. I glanced over my shoulder, my eyes wide and my heart in my throat.

“What the fuck! How the fuck did you get in my room!”

There was a tiny pixie standing in the doorway of my bedroom with her hands on her hips. Standing behind her was a bemused looking Jasper. I held his gaze for a moment and I could see he was hiding a grin and he shrugged.

“What? She said she needed to see you.” He coughed and looked away and I could have sworn I heard a chuckle buried in there somewhere.

Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled Alice and Jasper had hit it off. But now I was the lone gunman. Everyone had a girlfriend but me. Well, that was actually lie. I did have a girlfriend but she was locked away in a rehab facility because of a fucking sleaze ball pervert of a teacher who had tried to molest her. I love the fairness of life sometimes.

I turned my gaze to the innocent looking Alice who was grinning like she had just been awarded a shopping spree at Macy’s. “Needed to see me for what?”

That was all the encouragement she needed. She grabbed onto Jasper’s arm and pulled him into the room and shut the door behind both of them. Without an invitation, and after scowling at my dirty rumpled sheets, she flopped onto my bed and started talking.

“Look, I know you’ve been allowed to see her on these supervised visits for the dog thing, but I think you need to see her. Like, see her, see her. Seriously, I’ve gone to visit her twice this week and all she does is clutch onto that phone you gave her like it’s the last piece of you she will ever have. It’s really fucking sad Edward.”

I raised my eyebrows and burshed the hair off my forehead. “She told you about the phone?”

“No. I figured it out on my own. I have a way of knowing things…don’t ask…anyway, you need to go see her.”

“I see her every Friday, they aren’t going to let me just –”

“No. I am going to sneak you in.” Alice interrupted holding up her hands and stopping me midsentence.

I rolled my eyes. “Right. Ok Alice. She is on fucking lockdown. There is no way we can get in there without any-”

I stopped talking and sucked in a sharp breath because she was dangling a set of keys in front of my face and waving them back and forth. I just stared at her.

“Don’t look so surprised.” She giggled. “I’m very persuasive when I want to be.”

“How in the hell did you get those?”

“Well, I met this patient there the other day when I was waiting for Bella. She started screaming the lyrics to It’s Tricky at me and so I figured she must be worth talking to for a moment.”

Alice stared at both Jasper and I like we should know exactly what she was talking about. Of course neither of us had a fucking clue. Jasper just shrugged and gave me a ‘go with it’ look.

“So some crazy nut job screamed Tricky at you and this got you the keys to Crossroads?” I asked starting to feel a bit impatient. Alice rolled her eyes at me.

“No silly. This patient, who is named Erin by the way, actually had a set tucked away in her cleavage. Apparently she stole it from one of the nurses a long time ago and uses it to get into the pharmacy cabinets. She’s totally just fucking with all of them up there. Really pretty funny. Anyway, she is going to help distract the guards so we can get in and get you to Bella. Tonight.”

“Tonight!” I yelped staring up at my digital clock that was telling me it was already approaching seven o’clock at night. I was wearing wrinkled filthy clothes and hadn’t been near a shower in days. I couldn’t go to Bella looking, and probably smelling like a homeless person. Alice seemed to agree with me.

“Yeah. Tonight. And I will not be sending you to her looking like you just crawled out of a episode of Dirty Jobs.” She gave me a disgusted look, her nose wrinkled up in distaste. “You have to have some clean clothes in here somewhere.”

I felt myself become slightly self conscious as she nudged through my pile of dirty clothes with the tip of her toe.

“I have clean clothes.” I protested swiping a dirty tshirt she was inspecting closely, out of her hand.

“Ok. Well…if you don’t I had Jasper bring along some of his.”

I turned around and gave Jasper a death stare. “Oh really?”

“Dude, I’ve seen your wardrobe.”

He was right. I really needed to buy some new clothes. I had been wearing the same t-shirts since I started high school. Most of them had holes and stains that I couldn’t even identify anymore. I balled up the shirt in my hand and tossed it across the room.

“Ok. Show me what you brought.” I figured letting Alice dress me was better than admitting that they were right and I really didn’t have any clean clothes. I was such a fucking bum.

The next hour was spent with me showering, Alice trimming up my hair and choosing an outfit for me. She rushed me out the door to Jasper’s car mumbling something about ‘not wanting to be seen in public in a derelict rust bucket even if it was a Volvo’.

I sat in the back seat staring out the window, ignoring Alice who was going over the ‘game plan’ with me in illicit detail. I figured we were going to get caught no matter what we did so I wasn’t really paying attention. I was thinking about Bella and how badly I wanted this all to be over.

“Did you hear that Mr. Bennett is getting suspended pending further investigation?”

Alice’s voice broke through my Bella daydream and I focused for a moment on what she had just said. Could it be true? The fat assface was going to pay for what he did to her.

“Really?” I asked raising one eyebrow and turning my head to face her.

She grinned and nodded. “Bella finally told her therapist what actually happened and she made an official statement with the police. He’s toast.”

“Thank fucking god I was about to tackle him in the hallway and chop his balls off.”

“And feed them to him.” Jasper added with a scowl glancing at me in the review mirror and giving me a nod. Jasper had been the only one who was on board with me from day one. He had offered to help me beat the shit out of Mr. Bennett whenever I was ready. I of course didn’t want to make life worse for Bella or for myself so I had refrained from assault with intent to destroy ballsack.

I was grateful when Jasper leaned over and turned the music up effectively ending all conversation. Alice looked a little peeved but I didn’t give a shit. I needed a moment to wrap my brain around how I was going to get Bella out of Crossroads as soon as possible. I was beginning to think sneaking in wasn’t such a great idea. I figured I would humor her for a while and when she realized that there was no way we were getting in I would enjoy a quick ‘I told you so’ and we would head home.

As we pulled into the dark drive of Crossroads I could see yellow squares of light in the distance that indicated that only a handful of patients were still awake. It was now almost ten o’clock so I imagined things were pretty quiet inside.

“Ok. So Erin is supposed to meet us in near the kitchen entrance in half an hour. She said lights out is at ten, and there is only a skeleton crew on staff right now. The only patients getting hourly checks by nurses are those who are on suicide watch and Bella was taken off that a long time ago so they only check her every four hours.” Alice rambled while twirling the huge ring of keys round and round her index finger nervously.

“Bella was on suicide watch?” I asked surprised. I had never heard anything about that.

“Yeah. Everyone is when they first arrive. This is a mental health facility Edward.” Her tone irritated me slightly but I ignored her. This wasn’t going to work anyway.

We all waited patiently until Alice announced it was time to make our way towards the building. We shut our doors quietly so we didn’t attract any attention and crept around the building until we reached a small back door near several garbage bins.

It was cracked open slightly and there was a sliver of light spilling out onto the dark ground. I could make out someone’s face sandwiched in the crack and although the shadows made it difficult for me to make out any distinct features I did notice two large blue eyes peering out into the darkness.

Alice tiptoed to the door and I could hear her whispering and then the door swung open and I was hurried inside.

“Oh shit, you are sex on a stick aren’t you?” I heard someone laugh and before I could turn to face the person who had let us into the building I felt a pair of hands in my hair.

“Whoa!” I laughed ducking and running my hands through the mess on the top of my head to straighten it again. She just giggled.

“Sorry.” She shrugged. I saw that she was short, with long blonde hair and the grin on her face paired with the mischievous glint in her eyes told me this girl was trouble. “I was just giving it a little…umph…a little juege. You have great hair.”

I thanked her quietly and shoved my hands in my pockets. I had never expected to get close to the facility let alone find myself standing inside. My heart was beating so fast I was sure everyone in the room could hear it. Not only was I afraid of being caught, I was probably more afraid of what would happen if I did ever get to Bella.

What the fuck was I going to do?

Was I going to just sit with her? Talk to her? Hold her? Would we be alone? Would Alice and Jasper have to hide in her room with us? Did Bella know I was coming?

“Does Bella know I’m coming?” I asked suddenly. All eyes turned to me and Alice just stared at me without speaking.

“I ah, I may have forgot to mention it.” She finally said with a wince. She must have seen the frustrated look on my face because she immediately tried to back track. “I’m sorry! I got so wrapped up in how to get you here I forgot about letting her know about my little plan.”

“Really Alice?”

“I’m sorry!”

“I hate to break up this little fun fest, but we need to get you,” Erin poked me in my chest. “Into Bella’s room in like, two minutes.”

“What happens in two minutes?” I asked rubbing the spot on my chest that she had poked. I wondered if there was going to be a fucking bruise. This chick meant business.

“In two minutes the nurse will open Bella’s door for checks. She won’t be back for four hours. I’m going to jump into the hallway and create a diversion while you slip into her bedroom.”

“What kind of diversion?”

“You leave that shit to me pretty boy.” Erin raised and lowered her eyebrows. “I have this all figured out.”

“So what happens when it’s time to leave?” I asked still pretty skeptical that any of this was going to work.

“Hopefully they do what they always do and just escort me to my room and place an orderly outside my door to keep me in for the rest of the night. If that is the case then in four hours I will create another diversion that will make all of the night shifters rush to my aid. If they put me in solitary and drug my ass up, then Alice and Jasper here will have to get creative real fast.”

This information created a knot in my stomach; too many confounding variables.

“So that’s it, that’s the whole plan?” I asked nervously tugging at my hair again.

“Yep!” Alice chirped happily. “Now let’s get you to Bella.’

I wanted to argue and to tell them that this was a horrible fucking idea, but the sound of Bella’s name drove all of the doubt from my mind. I nodded and followed obediently.

We climbed several sets of stairs and I could feel the muscles in my ass and my calves burning painfully. It was a relief when Erin finally came to a stop and peeked through the square window on the staircase door.

“It’s clear.” She said in a whisper. “Alright Sexonastick, her room is number 5b. Get in fast ok?”

I nodded and swallowed hard. “Do I go right or left in the hallway?”

“Right, no left…no, it’s right. Sorry. I get confused easily.”

Erin was staring at her hands like they were very complicated math problems. I rolled my eyes. It would be a miracle if we didn’t get busted in the first five minutes.

I shot a look in Jaspers direction and he smiled at me and put his hands on Alice’s shoulders. “Go get her dude.”

That was all the encouragement I needed.

“Let’s do this thing.” I said to Erin and almost laughed when she clapped her hands excitedly and did a little hop into the air.

With a deep breath and a quick wave to Alice Erin darted out the stairwell door and started screaming.

“Hot Pockets! Get your Hot Pockets! Right here! HOT POCKETS!!!! TOASTER SCRAMBLES!!!!”

The shouting continued down the hall and around the corner and I saw a nurse and one orderly chase after her, their shoes echoing loudly in the empty hallway. I held my own breath as I opened the door and peered right and then left. The lights were dimmed so it was difficult to make out room numbers on the doors. I avoided crashing into wheelchairs and food carts as I slid along the wall hoping I looked inconspicuous.

I was totally not a fucking spy. I tried to recall my Nintendo 64 007 days, but it really wasn’t helping. I could still hear Erin shouting about Hot Pockets and I had to stifle a laugh. The girl really did know how to put on the crazy act. At least I thought it was an act.

Finally I reached 5b. I stood there for a moment wondering what to do. Should I knock?

I raised my fist and then dropped it again. No, that was stupid. Come on Edward grow some balls. I cleared my throat and then grabbed the door knob and pushed it open.

The room was dark, and from what I could tell…very small.

There were two beds in the room but it looked like only one had an occupant. I quietly closed the door behind me and stood there for a moment scared to make a sound and scared to move even one step forward.

I saw the bed rustle slightly and heard a thump and a padding sound across the floor. Seconds later there was something small bumping up against my ankle.

I heard a quiet whine and I leaned down and scooped up the warm wiggly puppy into my arms. With a smile that was undetectable in the darkness of the room, I buried my nose in his soft fur. He groaned and twisted his body around so his head was in a better position to lick my face.

“Who’s there?” A sleep slurred voice asked from the other side of the room.

The sound caught me off guard. For a moment I had forgotten Bella had no idea I was in the room and I felt my muscles tense in surprise. I must have squeezed Soup a little bit too hard because he yelped in protest and sunk his puppy sharp teeth into my index finger.

“Holy shit! Fuck me!” I growled switching Soup to my non injured hand and shaking the now stinging one in an attempt to dull the throbbing pain.

“Edward?” I could tell by her voice that Bella was now wide awake. “What are you doing here?” Bella asked after a moment. I could hear the confusion laced in her tone and I could only imagine how strange it must be to wake up out of a deep sleep only to find a stranger standing over you in your bed in the dark. Actually, it was totally fucking creepy and I was shocked she didn’t scream for help. In fact, I might have to have a talk with her about this shit.

Does she do this with every guy that sneaks into her room at night? Are there more guys slipping into her room at night?


I shook my head to clear it and took a step forward hoping she might be able to see me more clearly.

“I’m sorry, Alice should have told you I was coming…I didn’t know –“

“Alice? What are you talking about?”She asked swinging her bare legs over the edge of the bed and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Her soft hair fell in a wave over her shoulders and I had to press my fists against my thigh to keep from hurling myself in her direction and tangling my fingers in fistfuls of her soft locks.

“I’m talking about that deviant little fucking pixie you have brought upon me to ruin my life.” I grumbled setting Soup onto the floor and lowering myself beside Bella on the bed. The box springs on her hospital issued mattress groaned loudly in complaint. While patting the bed I lifted my head and smiled at Bella. “Not shy are they?”

She didn’t laugh, but I saw the corners of her mouth twitch as she fought back a smile.

“I really like Alice thank you very much. She has been a true friend through all of this.”

‘Yeah, well she also stole my best friend from me, kidnapped me, and made me accessory to breaking and entering.”

“Alice snuck you in here?” Bella clapped her hands together and grinned. “That is so sweet.”

“Yes, she and Jasper both agreed that you and I needed some quality time together.” I looked down and noticed that my knee was bouncing up and down nervously. I was like a nervous fucking kid about to get his first kiss.

“I am desperate for some quality time.” She said breathlessly staring down at her hands and avoiding my gaze altogether.

I cleared my throat and brushed my hair out of my eyes. “Yeah, me too actually.”

“I mean, the sessions with Soup, and your dad…those are great and all but…”

“I know.” I tilted my head to the side and felt a jolt of electricity when my eyes locked with hers.

She reached out and softly brushed her fingers over my lips. With a sharp intake of breath she closed her eyes and I felt her body shudder beside me on the bed.

I didn’t need any more encouragement.

I closed the small distance between us quickly and pressed my lips to hers.

She hesitated for a moment and for a few seconds I felt myself begin to panic. Maybe she didn’t want me; maybe she was over me...

She grabbed the back of my head and opened her mouth, hungrily licking at my lips with her tongue. She shifted herself on the bed so she could press her body tightly against mine.

There was a sense of urgency in her kiss and I knew why. We didn’t have long before we were caught by a nurse. If we were going down, we might as well make the most of it. This could be the last time I would have to kiss Bella, to touch her…

The thought made my heart ache and I pushed it back into the far recesses of my mind. I was going to enjoy this moment. I was going to fucking love Bella as much as I could. I wanted to show her that I loved her enough…and that nothing could ever stop that love. Not even our parents own good intentions

Sunday, 2 May 2010

We Need You!

Hello Ladies...

Firstly, YES a new chapter is coming very soon. We are currently working on it and it will be amazing.
Scouts honour :D

Anyway...I just wanted to take a moment, breather, second or any another gap in time to reflect on happenings of late and get you all caught up.

First port of business. If you have already joined our Google group, then you’ll know we were recently being spammed.

I just want to say how so sorry I am for this, it was my fault for lack of attention. I promise you, Stoney has had me hung, drawn and quartered and I am currently typing this, which is rather difficult I might add, from the stocks she has prisoned me in.

(Ps. Help?)


Next... a plea for another kind of help.

Now, Stoney and I realise that you all have VERY demanding lives...very very very busy lives. As so do us. But...


We need you to take part in the COB contest, which is now being extended until June, when I will have internet and I will be able to make a proper judging. We have already received a few entries, one or two we plan to use in future. But we need more DAMMIT!!

So please...for gameward... just try.


Anyway, that’s all for now, and we hope your excited for the next chapter. It’s sad, and scary, to think that CoB will be ending soon....But fear not! We have a few plans rolled up our sleeves...hehehehe.

Also, A HUGE hello to all the new followers, it’s so amazing to hear from new people every day, so if you fancy cheering us up – don’t forget to comment!!

Muchos Love

Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Chapter 28 : Ass Grenades


As I waited alone in Dr Harpers office I gazed around the room, closely studying all of objects inside of it for what felt like the first time. Typically when I was in a counseling session I stayed in a protective haze and didn’t pay much attention to anything other than the questions I was being asked. As my eyes took in the furniture and the decorations I couldn’t help but take note that compared to most Doctors offices, this was very different.

Instead of white walls covered in personal attributes like diplomas and the various other achievements you would usually find in a psychiatrists office, there were several pictures of landscapes and scenery. Deep, dark, forests beside clear, still lakes. There was one in particular that I was drawn to of a tall, old oak tree. It was set in a shadowy fall forest and the colours of the leaves were deep and rich, depicting the season of autumn perfectly.

Her desk, though cluttered with papers, held no computer, only a pad of paper (now blank) and a ball point pen. Even her name plaque was wood, her name carved deep into the grain instead of the usual gold or silver plated you would expect.

Three of the walls were painted a warm brown, and the fourth wall was entirely bricked creating a cozy and warm environment. There was even a fireplace. No shit – this was not the average therapist’s office. This however, did not come as a surprise for me; I already knew that Dr. Harper was anything but average.

I could hear her in the hall as I inspected the room, talking to a nurse whose voice I didn't recognize. The nurse was obviously trying to get some gossip out of her about me and a few fellow patients. Dr. Harper was either oblivious or smart enough to ignore her as every attempt the nurse made, Dr. Harper quickly thwarted and changed topic. Finally I heard her excuse herself and enter the room, closing the door quietly behind me.

“Well Bella.” She said breathlessly. “Sorry about that…the poor girl doesn't know how to take a hint.”

She crossed the room to the desk in front of me and gave me warm friendly smile. She was in her early thirties, and I always thought she was subtly pretty. Her hair was deep auburn brown like mine but she wore hers in a short contemporary bob. She always wore comfortable, but professional clothes and she seemed to have an extensive shoe collection because I don’t think I ever saw her wear the same pair twice.

Taking a seat in her chair, she opened a drawer in her desk and removed a pair of thick rimmed glasses. She slid them over her ears and onto her nose, positioning them quietly before gazing up at me again.

“Now.” She smiled. “Eventful day, huh?”

I nodded and pressed on my stomach in attempt to quiet the butterflies that were still fluttering around joyously. I couldn’t stop playing and replaying the events of the day in my mind and anytime I recalled Edward’s face or how his lips felt on mine the butterflies would reappear all over again in a pleasant but nauseating swarm.

“Well it doesn’t take a genius to see his presence today had quite an effect on you. You are practically glowing.” Her warm expression reminded me of the way a mother would look when pleased with her daughter. Not that I would know that look from experience.

Peering down to her blank pad of paper, Dr. Harper picked up her ball point pen and began scribbling, or as she liked to call it, taking notes.

This reminded me of another odd quirk of Dr Harper’s; her openness about her medical notes. Usually, in therapy sessions with other doctors, if they so much as caught me glancing towards their notes I would be scolded or they would make every attempt to hide them from me. Dr. Harper however, made a point when she first caught me looking, to read aloud everything she had written. She challenged me that if I ever wanted to know, all I had to do was ask. I never did, nor did I intend too, but it was always a comfort to know I could if I wanted to. It made me trust her that much more.

“So,” She said bluntly, glancing up at me from behind her glasses, her warm eyes kind and friendly. “How are you feeling?”

I loved when Dr. Harper asked me this question. Again, with most doctors the question itself would seem cold and impersonal. Whereas with her, her tone and her body language gave the impression she actually gave a shit.

I heaved a sigh and tried to clear my head of any anxiety I might have of telling her every detail of the day. I knew she was expecting me to spill my guts and I was also aware I should do what was expected of me if I wanted to keep up the visits from Edward. I cracked my knuckles and then launched into a thorough description of the day’s events. I did not hold back and I disclosed every little detail without hesitation. I knew I could trust Dr. Harper, I always told her everything.

Well, almost everything. I have never once mentioned what I was about to tell her now.

“ there is something I've been wanting to discuss with your for some time now.” I mumbled, stalling. I stared down at my hands and twisted them anxiously.

Dr. Harper didn't look up from her notepad; instead she continued to scribble furiously without speaking. I continued, gulping loudly.

Here goes nothing, I thought as my insides tightened uncomfortably making me feel sick to my stomach.

“I know we've been over..that school before.” I paused, eyeing her for a reaction. “But I didn't tell you the entire story.”

We had discussed the reason I had been kicked out of Forks High School during the first week I came to Crossroads, but it had mostly been her talking and asking for details whilst I sat quietly, deep in thought letting her assume answers to her own questions.

I now felt extremely guilty for that. I should have known I could trust her, she had been so good to me and I had been purposely holding back. I could only hope she wouldn’t look down on me for my lack of full disclosure.

“Mr. Bennett and I...I didn't...What I mean to say is I didn't..” I trailed off, nervously, my words running away from me.

“You didn't initiate it, Bella?” She asked sounding calm and professional. She never stopped writing notes and did not look up once.

“....No.” I whispered with a deep breath and a sigh. I felt like several pounds had been lifted from my shoulders. I looked up at her hesitantly and was surprised to see her grinning at me.

“Well!” She slammed her pen down on to her desk loudly, making me jump. “Finally!”

I blinked confused. “Finally?”

She nodded, her grin stretching even wider, her laugh lines crinkling happily.

“Finally!” she exclaimed again, clapping her hands together. “You've finally admitted it wasn't your fault! My dear have any idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear this?”

I shook my head, unsure of anything let alone her question.

“Quite some time.” She replied.

Dr. Harper stood up from her chair and made her way round the desk to my chair. Kneeling down to my height, she removed her glasses and looked straight into my eyes, reading my face.

“I'm terribly proud of you today.” She said quietly. “You've shown great improvement.”

She smiled once more then with a gentle pat on my shoulder, she stood and turned towards her desk.

“Of course..this is not all credited to it? I have a feeling Edward himself is due some applause as well?” She turned her head to see me nod once then turned back to face the window behind her desk.

“Yes.” I agreed again quietly.

She placed her glasses silently on the desk and then stood there for a while before finally letting out a sigh.“Same time next week Bella?” She asked, still not facing me.

I wasn't sure if this was a dismissal or not so I made a point to stand.

“Um…sure. Next week.” I shrugged biting my lip anxiously. Was she going to tell the school? My father? My mother? Would I get released? Would Mr. Bennett get fired? Would I have to make an official police statement? All of these thoughts were rushing through my mind and I wanted to ask her what would happen but I was too nervous.

I cautiously crossed the room, and my arm was outstretched towards the doorknob when Dr. Harper spoke again.

“Oh and Bella?”

I turned to find her back in her seat behind her desk shuffling through papers.

“Yes?” I asked.

“I will be contacting the school and alerting them of this news. You will most likely have to make an official statement but I will be there when this happens. I’m sure your little pixie looking friend will be around to fill you in on all the gossip going around at school. But just in case she gets sick and can’t come for a visit,” She lifted her head and winked at me mischievously, “I'll be sure to let you know.”

I smiled lightly at the thought of Alice and wondered how Dr. Harper knew she was my source for outside gossip. I assumed the nurses were probably eavesdropping on every little conversation Alice and I had during her visit.

I didn’t mind. I was just thrilled that I had been brave enough to turn in Mr. Bennett and he would never be allowed to do this to anyone ever again.


Almost a week had passed since Edwards visit and my breakthrough session with Dr. Harper. I had heard nothing from her or Alice and though I was curious, I took this as a good sign and instead focused my attention on Soap and his training.

Things were going well and as I lay on my bed gently stroking Soap’s head as he slept soundly on my stomach, I couldn’t help but think about Edward.

My Gamer. My Love.

I hadn’t realized how much I missed him until he was back in my life. The world seemed a happier place to live in now that I knew he was a part of it again. He even made my existence this horrible institute they called a care center, with its mundane white and beige walls, and its dreary dust encrusted drab pink furnishings, more bearable. I hardly noticed the heavy feeling of suffocating depression anymore. I had my Edward back.

Even my fellow patients didn't seem to bother me as much anymore. Whereas before I would feel alone and helpless surrounded by people to whom I referred to as “FREAKS” in my mind. I now found them all a little bit easier to cope with. If I were honest with myself I could even say I considered some of them to be friends.

For example, there was a young woman with long blonde hair named Erin, who stuck out most in my mind. When I had first arrived she had greeted me by bursting into my room at 2am screaming at the top of her lungs.

“Jazz Hands!” She cried. “Meat Curtains!!! MR POTATO HEAD? ASS GRENADES!!!”

I had quickly written her off as clinically insane as I watched her be dragged away by the nurses who acted like this was a normal occurrence. As I fell back asleep I hoped I never had to run in to her again.

Then one morning, after the breakthrough, I actually took a moment to speak to her. It was during breakfast and she approached me whilst I sat alone, as usual, eating with Soap tucked away in my hoodie. I wasn’t supposed to have him in the cafeteria but I couldn’t just leave him so I was trying to be extra careful not to bring attention to myself. Erin must have seen him because she made a bee line for me and sat down in the empty seat to my right. She stared at the moving bump in my hooded sweatshirt and gave a little laugh when Soap poked his head out. She reached over and patted him softy and then looked up at me with bright, clear, intelligent eyes.

When she started talking I was completely taken aback by how lucid and normal she seemed. She even apologized for my less than warm welcome my first night here.

“I'm a bit of a goofball!” She shrugged, grinning sheepishly as if this was explanation for her strange behavior. Before I could inquire further our conversation was abruptly ended when she swung suddenly around in her chair.

“Belly button lint? CHEESE WHIZ!” She shrieked loudly, catching the attention of the attendants.

She twirled her chair back to face me and grabbed at my shoulders causing me to scream in fright.

“Plus!” She let one hand of hers free to point up as if proving a point. “They give you extra drugs if you’re EXTRA crazy!”

She winked wickedly and with that she took off parading down the hallway. Her nightdress open at the back, exposing her bare behind.

“CRABCAKES!” She screamed off in the distance and I chuckled to myself.

Goofball or not, I thought, the girl was no idiot.

I smiled to myself as I lay in bed remembering how the nurses had to chase her down before she finally calmed enough for them to take her back to her room. I ran my fingers over Soaps soft fur and closed my eyes letting my mind wander. I reached my free hand into my pocket and wrapped my hand around the small cell phone Edward had given me. Even though it wasn't him, it was enough of a reminder that he was close if I needed him.

I gasped in shock when the little plastic rectangle buzzed in my hand.

I carefully lifted it out of it's hiding place and flipped it open my eyes constantly checking the doorway to make sure no one was outside.

Miss U. Love UR Spklepuss. X

I felt myself swoon at the sight of it and I blushed profusely. Clinging onto the edge of the bed I felt my heart pounding wildly which was causing me to feel dizzy. I never pegged myself to be the type of girl who'd faint from a text, but there I was. Reading, re reading it over and over again. The letters never changed and neither did my reaction.

Oh god...I'm turning into a sap! I thought as I adjusted the sleeping Soap so I could quickly tap in my reply.

Monday, 19 April 2010

Chapter Twenty Seven: Finally the Effing Van Scene

**Authors Note: Thank you all for your patience! We had a bit of delay this time around but no worries we are back on track! Please enjoy! - Stoney & Poptarrts***

I stared at Edward as he crouched in the back of the van, his hair sticking up in every direction as he gave me a lopsided and hesitant grin. He seemed to be as conflicted as I was about being face to face again after so long.

He hopped down easily, his worn Chuck Taylor's hitting the pavement quietly. As he straightened to a standing position he reached up and ran his hands through his unruly hair. I was fairly certain he hadn’t cut it since I last saw him and I felt my fingers twitch slightly as I fought an urge to rush to him and tangle my hands in the bronze waves.

I could feel my emotions taking over me faster than I could process them and I froze in place, my muscles tightening so that movement was impossible.

For weeks I had done nothing but sit in my tiny, depressing room, stare at the blank dreary yellow walls, and dream of Edward Cullen. I had played and replayed in my mind his expressions, his laughter, and every part of his face from his long, dark eyelashes to his perfectly imperfect nose. Now, standing in front of him, I realized that the picture I had of him in my mind had been completely wrong.

As I peered, awestruck, into his beautiful face I could see that I had absolutely underestimated his beauty. I wasn't a complete delusional idiot. I was aware that by most standards the majority of the female population might not find him as perfect as I did. Even now I had to smother a laugh as my eyes took in the stain on his shirt, and the fact that he looked like he hadn’t taken a shower in a few days. All of these little things from the wrinkles in his clothes to the tear in the leg of his jeans made me love him that much more. He was my gamer boy.

Obviously becoming unnerved by my awkward staring, Edward rocked back on his heels and then turned away from me. I watched with mild curiosity as he leaned into the van and opened the plastic door to the small pet carrier. Something whimpered and I could hear his voice, low and tender, as he mumbled quietly to the small ball of fur that was clutched to his chest.

I held my breath as he turned around and smiled at me, a small dog was straining and wiggling in his arms trying to break free of his hold. Edwards long fingers gripped and re-gripped the puppy as it fought against him with quiet grunts and pathetic cries.

"Bella." He greeted me with a half smile, concentrating hard on not dropping the cute little monster in his hands.

The sound of his voice was like music to me, and it immediately brought me back to the dream I had last night. I shifted uneasily as I felt myself becoming wet at the memory of his lips and tongue on my inner thighs. I sucked in a quick breath and tried to calm my pounding heart. I could feel my cheeks burning with the telltale flush of my arousal.

I realized I had not responded to his greeting and my silence must have upset him because his warm expression suddenly turned into a hurt grimace. His bright green eyes were filled with concern and something else…something I couldn’t read. Anger? Forgiveness? Sadness? I couldn’t tell.

I watched as he attached a leash to the puppies collar and set him gently onto the ground. The little dog immediately sat down with a dejected look on his face and starting crying. Someone nearby cleared their throat and the sound jolted me back to reality.

I turned my head and found myself staring into the smiling face of Dr. Cullen. He was leaning against the now closed up van watching the exchange between Edward and I with an amused look on his face.

"I want to make it clear that I don’t know if this will be a reoccurring venture. I’m pretty certain that if you get caught doing anything inappropriate there will be serious ramifications. Especially since Bella’s parents do not agree that this is a good move in her therapy. However, Dr. Harper and I both feel that this is healthy for both of you." He paused and turned his gaze to Edward. "The only thing I know is that I refuse to lose my son…"

His words trailed off and the grief-stricken look in his eyes threatened to break my heart. With one last warning glance over his shoulder, Carlisle pulled open the van door and climbed inside.

He leaned out of the window and looked directly at Edward. "I will be back in two hours." With that, Edward nodded that he understood and Carlisle drove away.

I stood motionless following the retreating van with my eyes, a look of confusion plain on my face. Soon, the van had disappeared and all that was left was myself, a whimpering puppy, and Edward; both of us avoiding each other's awkward gazes.

He is avoiding me. As soon as the revelation popped into my head I felt a swell of sadness in my chest. He was here to say goodbye to me, that had to be it. That was the only reason he was being so distant and so cold. I felt as if a giant hole was being torn into my chest.

As the guilt and sadness engulfed me, I was reminded again of all the terrible things I had ever done. I realized that none of them compared to the hurt I had caused Edward Cullen. From the moment I laid eyes on him in the cafeteria that day, I should have known better. I should have stayed away and admired from afar. I should never have crossed that line with him. And now here I was, all mind fucked and broken...unable to stop the landslide of shit that I had brought upon myself.

"I'm sorry." A quiet voice mumbled beside me. He was suddenly so close I could feel the heat from his body on my bare arm. I didn't even have time to turn my head when I felt his arms around me, pulling me into an embrace. And just like that all the doubt was lifted from my shoulders. For the first time in weeks I felt complete again. Closing my eyes I leaned into him and let his essence pour over me. "I'm sorry."

I didn't speak. I was too afraid that the sound of my own voice would shatter the moment we were sharing. Instead, I turned myself to face him and not looking up, I wrapped my arms around his waist pulling him into me. I nuzzled my nose and lips into his neck, and I felt his body still until the only thing moving was the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest.

We stood like this for so long I lost track of time, just holding each other, when suddenly a thought occurred to me. I pulled my head away from his chest and peered up at him, my eyes wide.

"Wait. Today is the COD champions were supposed to be there. Why are you here?"

I heard him chuckle lightly as he looked down at me lovingly. "Bella. If I ever had to choose between the stupid fucking xbox and would win. You would win every fucking time."

As he spoke the words, butterflies escaped inside of me and began waging war on my stomach. I smiled up at him and hugged him even tighter.

"I missed you." I whispered. "I'm sorry for what I did."

I heard Edward make a frustrated noise and he pulled away from me. I immediately panicked and clutched onto him refusing to let him go.

"Hey." He said sharply grabbing onto my shoulders. "Look at me. I'm not going anywhere. But I think we should go for a walk."

"You are leaving me aren't you?" I whispered sadly. "I'm so sorry Edward. I didn't mean to let Mr. Bennett touch me like that. I didn't want him to I just -"

I suddenly felt lips pressing on my lips cutting off my pitiful attempt at an apology mid sentence. I gasped, surprised at how hard he was kissing me. I felt his arm drop to my waist and he pressed my body into his, supporting my weight and holding me up so I wouldn't fall. My heart pounded against his chest and I snaked my arm around his neck so I could finally bury my fingers in his hair. I let out a moan as my hands tangled into the soft bronze waves and tugged gently.

He pulled away from me and I saw him glance up and start looking around. "We are going to fuck up our chances doing this where everyone can see. Come on, let's walk."

I felt my shoulders slump as he said the words, but I knew he was right. With my knees feeling like partially melted rubber I followed him obediently to the well worn path that wrapped around the scummy looking pond, wound into the woods around the facility and eventually ended up back at the parking lot. The puppy was yanking him forward crisscrossing back and forth over the path and taking brave leaps onto stray leaves and unsuspecting rocks.

I smiled as I watched him thinking of how much he reminded me of myself. So tough and brave on the outside but a vulnerable mess on the inside; especially once all the walls were broken down.

Once we were far enough away from the view of prying eyes Edward led us to a patch of green grass where he took my hand and sat down comfortably with his legs tucked under his body. I sank down beside him and scooted close enough so that our shoulders were touching. The puppy was thrilled that we were down on his level and started barking and prancing all around us and nipping at our fingers and hands.

"He's got a lot of energy." I commented with a small smile as he leapt into my arms and licked my chin enthusiastically.

"He's a beagle puppy...of course he does." Edward laughed pulling the puppy out of my hands and holding him up so he could get a good look at him. "This wouldn't have been my first choice for you but dad insisted. Said he reminded him of you."

Edward looked at me out of the corner of his eye and cocked one eyebrow in question.

I shrugged and leaned my forehead on his shoulder. "I guess he thought we were both just undeniably adorable and pathetic."

Edward just set the puppy down and laughed. "Yeah. That sounds about right." I punched him playfully in the stomach. "I missed you." I said earnestly staring up at him.

"Yeah. I fucking know the feeling." He joked running his hand through his hair nervously. "Bella I-"

"Edward I'm so-" We both spoke at the same time which made me giggle. "Can I just say one thing?" He asked me as he picked at the sole of his shoe, avoiding eye contact with me.

I nodded.

"I know the whole thing with Bennett wasn't your fault. I'm sorry I ever thought it was, I should have known better. I want you to tell someone what happened...he needs to get in trouble for that. What if he does it to someone else?"

I heaved a sigh. "I know." I knew he was right. It had been bothering me since I got to Crossroads. I should never have let him get away with that bullshit. I had been in a fucked up place emotionally at the time and took his behavior towards me as my punishment for being a sex addict.

"Will you tell someone?" He asked raising his eyebrows slightly.

"I will. I’m still not sure if anyone will believe me…but I will tell someone, I promise."

"I will make sure they believe you." He vowed, his tone cold and very serious. He shifted his weight slightly and I saw him reach deep into his jeans pocket. I tucked my hair behind my ear and leaned forward trying to see what he had in his hands. "I have something for you."

He grabbed my hand and I felt goose bumps start to pop up all over my flesh as he gently stroked the inside of my hand with his index finger, tracing the lines that were deeply set in my palm.

"What is it?" I asked him my eyes fixed on the small black object clutched in his fist.

He stopped the gentle caressing and pressed something into my palm. He curved my fingers around it and squeezed gently. "Do not let anyone catch you with this. Don’t turn the ringer on and do not leave it where someone can see it."

I glanced down and saw that he had given me a small cell phone. I stared up at him, my eyes wide. "I can’t have a cell phone. I can get in big trouble for this. Does Dr. Cullen know you brought me this?"

"No one knows about it. It’s prepaid so it’s not traceable back to me. Bella, having no contact with you is driving me crazy. I just want to be able to text you to make sure you are ok."

I nodded and rolled over so that I could push myself up on my knees and crawled towards him slowly. I reached up and put my arms around his neck and leaned in so I could brush my lips and nose along his jaw line. I inhaled, savoring his familiar scent. I felt him rest his hands on my hips and I scooted even closer to him so that our bodies were pressed together.

"Bella." He sighed in protest, his breath hot in my hair.

"Thank you for forgiving me." I said seriously, pulling back so I could look at him. "I never meant to hurt you."

Something in his expression changed. "Bella. I should have tried harder. I should have talked to your dad earlier. I should have tried to see you but I thought you gave up on me. I figured you didn’t want me anymore…you know, like you moved on. Found another guy…that kind of thing."

"I don’t want any other guy." I said quietly trying in vain to smooth his hair on the top of his head.

"Just you."

"You have no idea how good it feels to hear you say that." His face was tilted upwards and he smiled playfully at me.

I kissed his bottom lip gently. "Good."

We spent the rest of our time talking and playing with the puppy whom we both decided to name Soap. Conversation was light and we didn’t dwell on the darkness that we had both been living in for the past few weeks. It felt like we were starting over and it made me ache to be free of the rehab center more than ever.

"How are Jasper and Emmett?" I asked as he stood up and reached for my hand to help me to my feet. I pulled myself up with one hand because Soap had passed out for a puppy nap and was curled up in the crook of my other arm.

He laughed. "They are fine. Emmett has a girlfriend now so I hardly see him."

"Really? Who?" Edward slipped his arm around my waist and bent down to kiss the top of Soap's sleepy head before leaning in to kiss the hollow spot at the base of my neck. I hummed happily as his lips made their way up my neck to my ear his kisses so light they tickled.

"Rosalie Hale." He murmured against my skin.

"Fuck me! Really? The one that looks like a Victoria's Secret model?"

He laughed. "Yep. That's the one."

"Go Emmett." Edward shrugged.

"She's a bitch. I like my girl to be able to own on xbox and have a sense of humor."

"It doesn't hurt that I'm an extremely good fuck." I laughed grabbing his hair and tugging his head back so I could stand on my tip toes and kiss him. The kiss was slow and gentle and I could tell he was trying hard to be good and trying ever harder to make this unexpected reunion last.

"Yeah. That too." He cleared his throat as he pulled away from me and gave me an embarrassed smile. I cocked one eyebrow.

"Mmmm...does sparkle puss miss me just a little bit?" I teased as I grazed my hand over the crotch of his pants. I could immediately feel the heat and firmness of his erection and the familiar ache between my legs began instantly.

"Oh no you don't." He danced sideways and avoided my hand taking several steps away from me. "Yeah, I'm hard as a fucking rock right now and yes, I want you so fucking bad it's making me see double but I am not messing this up. I just got you back and if they catch will be sent away to another facility where I can't come see you."

I stuck my bottom lip out in an exaggerated pout which made him shake his head and laugh. He held out his hand, which I took, and started leading me back down the path. He was talking about Jake Black and some new girl he was dating but I wasn't really paying attention. All I could think of was Edwards enormous, hard cock, and how badly I wanted it in my mouth. Yeah, even after several weeks of therapy I was not any better when it came to sex...but I did know now that I only wanted sex with Edward. No one else.

As we rounded the corner I saw Carlisle’s red van already waiting for us. The doctor was sitting on the park bench beside Dr. Harper and I sucked in a surprised breath. I knew Dr. Cullen had said she was in agreement that seeing Edward was good for me, but it still seemed odd to me.

Wasn't the point of rehab to keep you away from the things you craved? I wondered if this was just a some sick reverse psychology bullshit. They both looked up as we came into view and I saw Dr. Cullen nudge Dr. Harper and they both smiled at us.

"Did you have a good visit then?" Dr. Harper asked as if she were asking something normal like; were we enjoying the weather? My face hurt from smiling so much so I was sure she could see the pure joy in my expression. I just couldn't wipe it away. I was with my Edward and he had forgiven me. Of course I had a fucking fantastic visit.

"Yes!" I breathed with excitement. My cheeks flushing with embarrassment at my own candid response. The three of them all laughed a little and Dr. Harper stood up so she could peer down at Soap who was still fast asleep in my arms.

"Oh! He's adorable!" She said softly petting his little head and turning her gaze to Dr. Cullen. "You don't normally do puppies. What gives?"

He just laughed. "This little one is a survivor. He and all of his litter mates had Parvo and he was the only one to survive. He is tough and strong willed and needs just a little extra love. I thought he was a perfect fit."

Dr. Harper nodded. "Yes. It would seem so."

"Bella, I had one of the orderlies bring the puppy's food, bowls, and toys, and crate to your room. There is also a packet of information for you to read about housebreaking and early obedience training. He will need to go out to potty every few hours so don't forget. Dr. Harper has already cleared it with one of the night nurses. She will escort you out if the puppy needs to go out in the middle of the night. Either Edward or myself will be back next week to check your progress." Dr. Cullen explained with a smile. "I think you will do good things for this little guy. He needs some guidance...he's naughty."

I laughed and kissed Soap's warm, soft ear. "Yes. He really is."

"Alright Edward. I am afraid time is up." Dr. Cullen looked up at his son and I could tell he understood how difficult it was for Edward to leave. "Thank you Dr. Harper...Bella. I look forward to hearing your update next week." Carlisle shook both of our hands and patted Edward on the shoulder before sliding into the drivers side and starting the engine.

"Bella, I will wait for you at the front door. I would like to start our session immediately." She gave me a knowing look and walked away, leaving Edward and I standing alone.

He stepped close to me and pressed his lips to my forehead.

"I love you. So much."

"I know." I choked as I felt tears stinging my eyes. "I love you too."

He leaned in to kiss me quickly on the lips and then angled his mouth so that it was very close to my ear, "I will get you the fuck out of here no matter what it takes. That is a promise."

With that, he turned around and climbed into his father's van and drove off. It killed me that he had to leave but I knew one day soon we would be together again.

Thursday, 8 April 2010

Chapter Twenty Six: Poop Sandwich


I was sitting in my room glancing from my XBOX on the floor to my laptop sitting on the cluttered desk next to the bed.

I needed to do fucking homework but I really didn't feel like it. I didn't feel like doing much right now other than sleeping or losing myself on XBOX for a few hours.
It had been several weeks since Bella Swan had totally fucked with my head. I still hadn't figured out what the hell had happened. She told me she loved me that much I was sure of. I heard her say it more than once and the fact that she snuck into my bed and cried in my arms told me that she was not just playing games with me. But how does someone express love for someone else and then all of a sudden make a complete 180 and start fucking someone else just because the situation changed slightly.

And Mr. Bennett? Really? That fat fucker was the epitome of a dirty old man. I should have guessed he was a gamer. At least, that is what I had been telling myself. That was the only reason I could figure that Bella would ever try to hit on a guy like that. It was a moment of weakness on her part.

I couldn't find words to describe how I felt when I walked into that classroom and saw her straddling him with her arms around his pudgy neck. I wanted to break Bennett’s face with my fist which was not like me. I did not typically choose violence solve my issues. When I played video games, sure...but never in real life.
I turned over my right hand and studied the swollen and bruised skin over my knuckles. I opened and closed my fist and winced at the pain that shot up my wrist to my elbow. I was pretty sure I broken something but I didn't want to go to the doctor. I wasn't a fucking pussy.

I smiled a little at the memory of how it had felt to rearrange Mike Newton's face. When he finally came back to school about five days after the fight, even I had to admit he looked like shit. His nose was broken, his lip split open in two places. There was a deep laceration over his eyebrow and someone told me he had a broken rib. Who knew I had it in me?

My rebel without a cause behavior had gotten me suspended for three days. It was a wonder I wasn't expelled. I had honestly been expecting it but my dad talked to Mr. Now and convinced him that since I didn't have any prior history of trouble, this had been an isolated incident and wouldn't happen again. I was honestly more worried about what my parents were going to say about the whole messed up situation then I ever was about school. I never got in trouble and then out of the blue I was fucking Billy Badass busting faces and destroying school property.

My poor mom. I figured she would know about Bella. Fuck, who didn't know about Bella? The town of Forks was so tiny it only took a few hours for news to spread like wild fire and Bella's situation had been no exception. Of course she would know that the police chief's daughter was a sex addict with a taste for video gamers. Of course she would have heard about her being caught in the act with her latest conquest and the Chief had put her on severe lockdown. Thankfully she’d been spared the knowledge that the boy involved with Bella was her own son.

I finally stood up and reached for my laptop, sliding it off the desk and lying down onto my bed. I had every intention of doing homework but the second I turned the computer on my mind began to wander. I lay my head on my pillow and rested the laptop on my stomach listening to the whir of the fan as it complained over not being able to vent properly. Everything about my life right now sucked. It sucked to close my eyes, it sucked to go to school, and it even sucked to hang out with my friends.

The other day I rode with Jake to the reservation to get my car fixed and met Charli for the first time. She was as hot as he had described and what was even better was that she didn't give him the time of day. He followed her around like a puppy dog as she gave my piece of shit car a once over. I had never seen Jake act that way around any girl and the sight made my heart hurt. I could tell she liked him by the way she allowed him to get up in her personal space and the way she occasionally brushed up against him but he was oblivious to it all. He was so wrapped up in impressing her and trying to get her attention that he was missing all the little signs.

Then there was Emmett. Emmett had been fawning over Rosalie Hale for as long as I could remember. He fell in love with her when we were in sixth grade and she was on the dance squad. He saw her in her little dance outfit at one of the Junior High football games and he was lost from that point forward. She of course was way out of his league with her perfect curvy body and her long wavy platinum blonde hair, and consistently blew him off no matter how persistent he was. That was until a few weeks ago. He had been at school and was making one of his weekly attempts to seduce her when to his complete amazement, and everyone else's total shock; she agreed to go on a date. Now they were inseparable, not to mention completely disgusting to be around.

I pretty much kept my head down and forged through each day with a numbness I didn't know I had in me.

There was a knock on my door.

"Yeah?" I called out expecting my mom to come through the door. She had been uncharacteristically helpful these past few weeks. It was as if she could tell how fucked up I was and had started doing my laundry again, and making me cookies.

Normally I would have eaten up that shit like a fat kid with a bowl of ice-cream but I was too out of it to even take much notice. The door swung open and I saw my dad standing in the doorway.

He looked uncomfortable and his eyes flicked from the mess of dirty clothes on my floor to my disheveled self sprawled out on the bed.

"Can I come in for a second?" He asked raising his eyebrows slightly.

I nodded and gestured to the chair in front of my desk that was piled with clothes and other random shit. He eyed the chair for a moment before deciding to sit at my feet on the bed.

"What’s up?" I grumbled closing my laptop and sitting up.

"I saw Bella. A few weeks ago." He said quietly. He stared at his hands for a moment and then looked up to study my face. I had not been expecting that. Never in a million years did I think today, my dad would waltz into my room and declare he had seen Bella Swan. I felt my heart skip several beats and I drew in a sharp breath. I hope he hadn't noticed. "I wanted to tell you sooner but I've been doing a lot of thinking about the whole situation and I've only just now reached a conclusion."

I cleared my throat. "Oh, yeah?" I asked trying to sound nonchalant but knowing I failed miserably when I choked on the words on their way out.

My dad laughed a little and nodded. "Yeah. She looks pretty miserable."

I rolled my eyes. "Well thanks. That makes me feel much better."

"She is being enrolled in the program."

I knew immediately what program he was talking about. It was actually pretty cool. My dad worked with the addicts at Crossroads by giving them homeless dogs to raise, train and then adopt out to a family. It taught them responsibility or some shit. I knew it was only for patients that the psychologist felt was ready and that meant Bella was doing well. I really should have felt better hearing this information but I felt my stomach twist in a knot and I suddenly had an urge to be sick.

If she got out would she want me or would she want Bennett? I felt myself getting pissed off at the thought and I clenched my fists and rubbed them up and down my pant leg. I saw my dad watching me suspiciously and stopped right away.

"I think it might be a good idea for you to go along." He said, his eyes narrowed. "You know, when I bring her her dog.I think it might be good for her to see you, and good for you. I talked to Dr. Harper and she said that although Bella's parents may disagree...she thinks it is a good idea as well."

Could I? Would I want that? Would she want that? The thoughts raced through my mind faster than I had time to answer them. "I don't know if I want to see her." I said finally.

My dad looked slightly taken aback. "Really? I thought you would have wanted that. I guess - well, it just seems like you really miss her."

"Yeah, seem to forget she tried to bone a teacher behind my back." I grumbled angrily.

"Yes. I suppose that's true." He patted the bed and pushed himself back to a standing position. Before he walked out of my room he paused in the door way and turned back around. "Well, if you change your mind I'm taking a dog to her tomorrow. I would be happy to write you a note to miss school."

With that, he tapped the door frame and left my room closing the door behind him.
I had a lot to think about.

The next day at school I was in a trance. All I could think about was the possibility of seeing Bella again and the epic battle that was waging inside of me. One part of me desperately wanted to see her and the other part of me was still so pissed off about Mr. Bennett I could barely see straight. You know that stupid fucking cartoon with the angel and the devil on some poor moron's shoulders? Yeah, that was me.

"Edward?" A little female voice asked timidly beside me as I walked. I missed a step while I was walking and stumbled forward slightly, surprised that anyone was talking to me. I looked to my right and saw a tiny girl staring up at me expectantly. Her spiky black hair was sticking in every direction and although I knew it was meant to look like she didn't give a shit, it had probably taken hours to get just so. I had no idea who this girl was and I was even more clueless as to why she was talking to me.

"Uh…yeah." I said sounding like a total moron.

"I'm Alice...remember? We've met before. I'm friends with Bella." She rolled her eyes when I still couldn't remember who the hell she was. I noticed she had to take two quickly paced steps to keep up with one of mine so I slowed a bit trying to be helpful. She seemed relieved and slowed her hop, skip, walk.

"Bella Swan?" I asked trying to clarify. I didn't know Bella had any friends at school. I mean I know Stanley kept her around as a kind of pet, but I had never seen Bella talk to this Alice girl or even mention her name.

"Yes. We just recently met, but we have become very close. I went and saw her at Crossroads the other day."

I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to face her. "How is she?" I asked before I could stop myself. I hadn't wanted to ask too many questions with my father but for some reason I felt comfortable with this girl.

"She’s ok." She tried to force a smile but then when she held my gaze for a moment the half assed grin melted into a frown. "She looks like crap."

Alice's tiny shoulders drooped slightly. This information came as no surprise to me. I didn't even want to imagine what Bella looked like.

"Yeah. Great. Ok...I need to go to class." despite the fact I wanted to stand there and ask her a million questions I fought the urge and started walking away. If she didn't want me, I didn't want to give myself false hope.

"Wait!" She called out and took several quick steps towards me. "She loves you!"
Those last words shot through me like a knife. I stopped and turned to face her slowly. "What did you say?"

Alice rushed to my side and hissed at me impatiently. "She loves you, you stupid MANBOY!"

I wanted to laugh at her viciousness. She was like a dainty little idea how small and non threatening she actually was. "She is over me." I grunted with a humorless laugh. "She made that clear when she tried to bang Mr. Bennett in his fucking office chair."

"You are an idiot aren't you?" She asked with an impatient tap of her toe. "That wasn't her. Mr. Bennett threatened to fail her in his class. He told her that she could make it up to him through...extra credit." She swallowed hard and the look on her face told me she was about to be sick. I stepped out of her way.

"Please don't puke on me."

"I won't. It's just....someone needs to get that fucker fired. And poor Bella. Everyone thought that she was the one who seduced him because of her...thing. Even you. The one who supposedly loves her." Alice's eyes narrowed and she frowned at me. I felt like my mother was reprimanding me for not cleaning my room.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. She loves you Edward. She hates herself for what she did to you."

"She didn't -, but I -" I stammered but Alice held her hand up.

"She didn't say anything that day because she was mortified. She was too embarrassed to face you."

"Fuck!" I yelled loudly not caring that I had suddenly attracted the attention of everyone in the hallway. "Fuck, I am an idiot."

It all seemed to make sense now and I was even more furious myself for being so blind.

"Killing Bennett does not help Bella." Alice whispered tugging at my arm. It was like she was reading my damn mind. "You need to go see her."

She was right. I did need to see her. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone. Flipping it open I hit the speed dial and raised it to my ear.

"Forks Animal Hospital this is Emily how may I help you?" A sweet voice answered the phone at my father's work.

"Hey Em, it's Edward is my dad still there?" I asked hopefully.

"Oh yeah! Hey Edward he's right here."

I heard the phone shuffle as it changed hands and then my father's voice came through the speaker. "What’s up?"

"I want to go with you. Today. To go see Bella." My chest tightened as I waited for his answer. I hoped the offer was still on the table despite my reaction when he first asked me.

"Oh! Well, sure. I will come get you then in an hour?"
I felt relief wash over me.


I hung up the phone and shoved it back into my pocket. I turned back to Alice. "Thank you." I said sincerely.

"Just make her better ok?" She pleaded and for the first time I noticed that it seemed like she really cared about Bella. I smiled slightly.

"I'll try." I adjusted my bag and started heading for the parking lot. I couldn't concentrate enough to sit through class for an hour when I knew I was about to see Bella. I would just wait in my car.

"Hey Edward!" I heard Jasper yell after me. I didn't turn around. I felt kind of bad, but I knew he would understand. "What the fuck dude!"

"Hi!" I heard the perky pixie voice exclaim. "I’m Alice."

"Jasper. And apparently I'm fucking invisible."

"Mmmm...No. You're not."

That was the last thing I heard before I disappeared into the crowd of students.

I was going to see Bella.

Wednesday, 7 April 2010



Do you love COB?
Do you think you could make it better?


We are looking for a new character to star in a COB chapter – or be a main storyline addition and we want YOU to design it for us!

Yes, Stoney and I are far too busy...and far too be able to think up a whole new character, so we are asking you to do it for us!

The winning character will star in COB and their owner will win a lovely glossy professionally made photoshopped badge (made by Stoney) and a rather shitty, five minute made, piece of crap paint made badge (made by moi) – both holding the award...

“I starred in COB & all I got was this shitty badge!”

What exactly are we asking for though?

Well! I have put together a little cheat sheet for you all – so listen up and pay attention dammit! I’m trying to help you win!

This is how your entry should look:


NAME (Of Entrant):

Email Address:

Blog (if available):

Can we name you, or do you wish to remain nameless?:


NAME (Of Character):


LOOKS: Include as much description as possible. Hair colour, eye colour, clothing style, build, height etc. If you like you can even include a photo if you have one.
Please note we NEED you to ATTACH the photo – I HATE HAVING TO FIND THEM FOR YOU!

HOW THEY FIT INTO THE STORY: Are they Charlie’s long lost lover? Does Gameward secretly have an evil twin brother? Make it as real or as ridiculous as you like – we don’t mind either way!

BACKGROUND: Give us a bit of background about the guy..tell us what he likes, what he doesn’t, WHY he doesn’t like them. Be as detailed as possible – this will help us really see the character you’ve made.

Finally feel free to add any other detail you think is important to your entry, have as much fun with it as possible – if you think an idea is stupid, SEND IT! We love the silliness so go nuts!

Then email your entry to
with the subject: COB CONTEST ENTRY

Entries are due in by the 29th April 29th of May and the closing date is the 1rst of May 1rst of June.
We will accept late entries ONLY between the 29th May and the 1st of June up until midnight central.

We will not accept characters from other fan fics
Nor will we accept a character from Twilight itself – this has to be completely original.
We will not accept any character whose background or storyline which contains heavy violence, rape or abuse.

We have the right to change the characters history, but will stay maintain the integrity of the character itself. You agree to these terms by entering the contest.

If we find a character that is disqualifiable that was entered before the 29th of April 1rst of June – we will contact the entrant to gain a re-entry, any disqualifiable entrants after the 1rst will be immediately disqualified and the entrant will be notified by email.

Should you have any questions about entering, please feel free to comment and leave your email address at the end of it and I will respond as soon as possible. Obviously, due to the time limit, we will ofcourse try to reply quickly and accurately.

Sorry to get all serious on your asses, but I've done contests before – and I hate them. I hope you enjoy this, it is a chance for you guys to interact with us and really get involved with COB.

We will display the best entries shortly after (date TBC) along with the winning entrant!

Get writing people, new chapter coming VERY soon ;)