Chapter I have no fucking clue...

“Edward?”

I jumped and threw my game controller about five feet in the air. I glanced over my shoulder, my eyes wide and my heart in my throat.

“What the fuck! How the fuck did you get in my room!”

There was a tiny pixie standing in the doorway of my bedroom with her hands on her hips. Standing behind her was a bemused looking Jasper. I held his gaze for a moment and I could see he was hiding a grin and he shrugged.

“What? She said she needed to see you.” He coughed and looked away and I could have sworn I heard a chuckle buried in there somewhere.

Don’t get me wrong, I was thrilled Alice and Jasper had hit it off. But now I was the lone gunman. Everyone had a girlfriend but me. Well, that was actually lie. I did have a girlfriend but she was locked away in a rehab facility because of a fucking sleaze ball pervert of a teacher who had tried to molest her. I love the fairness of life sometimes.

I turned my gaze to the innocent looking Alice who was grinning like she had just been awarded a shopping spree at Macy’s. “Needed to see me for what?”

That was all the encouragement she needed. She grabbed onto Jasper’s arm and pulled him into the room and shut the door behind both of them. Without an invitation, and after scowling at my dirty rumpled sheets, she flopped onto my bed and started talking.

“Look, I know you’ve been allowed to see her on these supervised visits for the dog thing, but I think you need to see her. Like, see her, see her. Seriously, I’ve gone to visit her twice this week and all she does is clutch onto that phone you gave her like it’s the last piece of you she will ever have. It’s really fucking sad Edward.”

I raised my eyebrows and burshed the hair off my forehead. “She told you about the phone?”

“No. I figured it out on my own. I have a way of knowing things…don’t ask…anyway, you need to go see her.”

“I see her every Friday, they aren’t going to let me just –”

“No. I am going to sneak you in.” Alice interrupted holding up her hands and stopping me midsentence.

I rolled my eyes. “Right. Ok Alice. She is on fucking lockdown. There is no way we can get in there without any-”

I stopped talking and sucked in a sharp breath because she was dangling a set of keys in front of my face and waving them back and forth. I just stared at her.

“Don’t look so surprised.” She giggled. “I’m very persuasive when I want to be.”

“How in the hell did you get those?”

“Well, I met this patient there the other day when I was waiting for Bella. She started screaming the lyrics to It’s Tricky at me and so I figured she must be worth talking to for a moment.”

Alice stared at both Jasper and I like we should know exactly what she was talking about. Of course neither of us had a fucking clue. Jasper just shrugged and gave me a ‘go with it’ look.

“So some crazy nut job screamed Tricky at you and this got you the keys to Crossroads?” I asked starting to feel a bit impatient. Alice rolled her eyes at me.

“No silly. This patient, who is named Erin by the way, actually had a set tucked away in her cleavage. Apparently she stole it from one of the nurses a long time ago and uses it to get into the pharmacy cabinets. She’s totally just fucking with all of them up there. Really pretty funny. Anyway, she is going to help distract the guards so we can get in and get you to Bella. Tonight.”

“Tonight!” I yelped staring up at my digital clock that was telling me it was already approaching seven o’clock at night. I was wearing wrinkled filthy clothes and hadn’t been near a shower in days. I couldn’t go to Bella looking, and probably smelling like a homeless person. Alice seemed to agree with me.

“Yeah. Tonight. And I will not be sending you to her looking like you just crawled out of a episode of Dirty Jobs.” She gave me a disgusted look, her nose wrinkled up in distaste. “You have to have some clean clothes in here somewhere.”

I felt myself become slightly self conscious as she nudged through my pile of dirty clothes with the tip of her toe.

“I have clean clothes.” I protested swiping a dirty tshirt she was inspecting closely, out of her hand.

“Ok. Well…if you don’t I had Jasper bring along some of his.”

I turned around and gave Jasper a death stare. “Oh really?”

“Dude, I’ve seen your wardrobe.”

He was right. I really needed to buy some new clothes. I had been wearing the same t-shirts since I started high school. Most of them had holes and stains that I couldn’t even identify anymore. I balled up the shirt in my hand and tossed it across the room.

“Ok. Show me what you brought.” I figured letting Alice dress me was better than admitting that they were right and I really didn’t have any clean clothes. I was such a fucking bum.

The next hour was spent with me showering, Alice trimming up my hair and choosing an outfit for me. She rushed me out the door to Jasper’s car mumbling something about ‘not wanting to be seen in public in a derelict rust bucket even if it was a Volvo’.

I sat in the back seat staring out the window, ignoring Alice who was going over the ‘game plan’ with me in illicit detail. I figured we were going to get caught no matter what we did so I wasn’t really paying attention. I was thinking about Bella and how badly I wanted this all to be over.

“Did you hear that Mr. Bennett is getting suspended pending further investigation?”

Alice’s voice broke through my Bella daydream and I focused for a moment on what she had just said. Could it be true? The fat assface was going to pay for what he did to her.

“Really?” I asked raising one eyebrow and turning my head to face her.

She grinned and nodded. “Bella finally told her therapist what actually happened and she made an official statement with the police. He’s toast.”

“Thank fucking god I was about to tackle him in the hallway and chop his balls off.”

“And feed them to him.” Jasper added with a scowl glancing at me in the review mirror and giving me a nod. Jasper had been the only one who was on board with me from day one. He had offered to help me beat the shit out of Mr. Bennett whenever I was ready. I of course didn’t want to make life worse for Bella or for myself so I had refrained from assault with intent to destroy ballsack.

I was grateful when Jasper leaned over and turned the music up effectively ending all conversation. Alice looked a little peeved but I didn’t give a shit. I needed a moment to wrap my brain around how I was going to get Bella out of Crossroads as soon as possible. I was beginning to think sneaking in wasn’t such a great idea. I figured I would humor her for a while and when she realized that there was no way we were getting in I would enjoy a quick ‘I told you so’ and we would head home.

As we pulled into the dark drive of Crossroads I could see yellow squares of light in the distance that indicated that only a handful of patients were still awake. It was now almost ten o’clock so I imagined things were pretty quiet inside.

“Ok. So Erin is supposed to meet us in near the kitchen entrance in half an hour. She said lights out is at ten, and there is only a skeleton crew on staff right now. The only patients getting hourly checks by nurses are those who are on suicide watch and Bella was taken off that a long time ago so they only check her every four hours.” Alice rambled while twirling the huge ring of keys round and round her index finger nervously.

“Bella was on suicide watch?” I asked surprised. I had never heard anything about that.

“Yeah. Everyone is when they first arrive. This is a mental health facility Edward.” Her tone irritated me slightly but I ignored her. This wasn’t going to work anyway.

We all waited patiently until Alice announced it was time to make our way towards the building. We shut our doors quietly so we didn’t attract any attention and crept around the building until we reached a small back door near several garbage bins.

It was cracked open slightly and there was a sliver of light spilling out onto the dark ground. I could make out someone’s face sandwiched in the crack and although the shadows made it difficult for me to make out any distinct features I did notice two large blue eyes peering out into the darkness.

Alice tiptoed to the door and I could hear her whispering and then the door swung open and I was hurried inside.

“Oh shit, you are sex on a stick aren’t you?” I heard someone laugh and before I could turn to face the person who had let us into the building I felt a pair of hands in my hair.

“Whoa!” I laughed ducking and running my hands through the mess on the top of my head to straighten it again. She just giggled.

“Sorry.” She shrugged. I saw that she was short, with long blonde hair and the grin on her face paired with the mischievous glint in her eyes told me this girl was trouble. “I was just giving it a little…umph…a little juege. You have great hair.”

I thanked her quietly and shoved my hands in my pockets. I had never expected to get close to the facility let alone find myself standing inside. My heart was beating so fast I was sure everyone in the room could hear it. Not only was I afraid of being caught, I was probably more afraid of what would happen if I did ever get to Bella.

What the fuck was I going to do?

Was I going to just sit with her? Talk to her? Hold her? Would we be alone? Would Alice and Jasper have to hide in her room with us? Did Bella know I was coming?

“Does Bella know I’m coming?” I asked suddenly. All eyes turned to me and Alice just stared at me without speaking.

“I ah, I may have forgot to mention it.” She finally said with a wince. She must have seen the frustrated look on my face because she immediately tried to back track. “I’m sorry! I got so wrapped up in how to get you here I forgot about letting her know about my little plan.”

“Really Alice?”

“I’m sorry!”

“I hate to break up this little fun fest, but we need to get you,” Erin poked me in my chest. “Into Bella’s room in like, two minutes.”

“What happens in two minutes?” I asked rubbing the spot on my chest that she had poked. I wondered if there was going to be a fucking bruise. This chick meant business.

“In two minutes the nurse will open Bella’s door for checks. She won’t be back for four hours. I’m going to jump into the hallway and create a diversion while you slip into her bedroom.”

“What kind of diversion?”

“You leave that shit to me pretty boy.” Erin raised and lowered her eyebrows. “I have this all figured out.”

“So what happens when it’s time to leave?” I asked still pretty skeptical that any of this was going to work.

“Hopefully they do what they always do and just escort me to my room and place an orderly outside my door to keep me in for the rest of the night. If that is the case then in four hours I will create another diversion that will make all of the night shifters rush to my aid. If they put me in solitary and drug my ass up, then Alice and Jasper here will have to get creative real fast.”

This information created a knot in my stomach; too many confounding variables.

“So that’s it, that’s the whole plan?” I asked nervously tugging at my hair again.

“Yep!” Alice chirped happily. “Now let’s get you to Bella.’

I wanted to argue and to tell them that this was a horrible fucking idea, but the sound of Bella’s name drove all of the doubt from my mind. I nodded and followed obediently.

We climbed several sets of stairs and I could feel the muscles in my ass and my calves burning painfully. It was a relief when Erin finally came to a stop and peeked through the square window on the staircase door.

“It’s clear.” She said in a whisper. “Alright Sexonastick, her room is number 5b. Get in fast ok?”

I nodded and swallowed hard. “Do I go right or left in the hallway?”

“Right, no left…no, it’s right. Sorry. I get confused easily.”

Erin was staring at her hands like they were very complicated math problems. I rolled my eyes. It would be a miracle if we didn’t get busted in the first five minutes.

I shot a look in Jaspers direction and he smiled at me and put his hands on Alice’s shoulders. “Go get her dude.”

That was all the encouragement I needed.

“Let’s do this thing.” I said to Erin and almost laughed when she clapped her hands excitedly and did a little hop into the air.

With a deep breath and a quick wave to Alice Erin darted out the stairwell door and started screaming.

“Hot Pockets! Get your Hot Pockets! Right here! HOT POCKETS!!!! TOASTER SCRAMBLES!!!!”

The shouting continued down the hall and around the corner and I saw a nurse and one orderly chase after her, their shoes echoing loudly in the empty hallway. I held my own breath as I opened the door and peered right and then left. The lights were dimmed so it was difficult to make out room numbers on the doors. I avoided crashing into wheelchairs and food carts as I slid along the wall hoping I looked inconspicuous.

I was totally not a fucking spy. I tried to recall my Nintendo 64 007 days, but it really wasn’t helping. I could still hear Erin shouting about Hot Pockets and I had to stifle a laugh. The girl really did know how to put on the crazy act. At least I thought it was an act.

Finally I reached 5b. I stood there for a moment wondering what to do. Should I knock?

I raised my fist and then dropped it again. No, that was stupid. Come on Edward grow some balls. I cleared my throat and then grabbed the door knob and pushed it open.

The room was dark, and from what I could tell…very small.

There were two beds in the room but it looked like only one had an occupant. I quietly closed the door behind me and stood there for a moment scared to make a sound and scared to move even one step forward.

I saw the bed rustle slightly and heard a thump and a padding sound across the floor. Seconds later there was something small bumping up against my ankle.

I heard a quiet whine and I leaned down and scooped up the warm wiggly puppy into my arms. With a smile that was undetectable in the darkness of the room, I buried my nose in his soft fur. He groaned and twisted his body around so his head was in a better position to lick my face.

“Who’s there?” A sleep slurred voice asked from the other side of the room.

The sound caught me off guard. For a moment I had forgotten Bella had no idea I was in the room and I felt my muscles tense in surprise. I must have squeezed Soup a little bit too hard because he yelped in protest and sunk his puppy sharp teeth into my index finger.

“Holy shit! Fuck me!” I growled switching Soup to my non injured hand and shaking the now stinging one in an attempt to dull the throbbing pain.

“Edward?” I could tell by her voice that Bella was now wide awake. “What are you doing here?” Bella asked after a moment. I could hear the confusion laced in her tone and I could only imagine how strange it must be to wake up out of a deep sleep only to find a stranger standing over you in your bed in the dark. Actually, it was totally fucking creepy and I was shocked she didn’t scream for help. In fact, I might have to have a talk with her about this shit.

Does she do this with every guy that sneaks into her room at night? Are there more guys slipping into her room at night?

“Edward?”

I shook my head to clear it and took a step forward hoping she might be able to see me more clearly.

“I’m sorry, Alice should have told you I was coming…I didn’t know –“

“Alice? What are you talking about?”She asked swinging her bare legs over the edge of the bed and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Her soft hair fell in a wave over her shoulders and I had to press my fists against my thigh to keep from hurling myself in her direction and tangling my fingers in fistfuls of her soft locks.

“I’m talking about that deviant little fucking pixie you have brought upon me to ruin my life.” I grumbled setting Soup onto the floor and lowering myself beside Bella on the bed. The box springs on her hospital issued mattress groaned loudly in complaint. While patting the bed I lifted my head and smiled at Bella. “Not shy are they?”

She didn’t laugh, but I saw the corners of her mouth twitch as she fought back a smile.

“I really like Alice thank you very much. She has been a true friend through all of this.”

‘Yeah, well she also stole my best friend from me, kidnapped me, and made me accessory to breaking and entering.”

“Alice snuck you in here?” Bella clapped her hands together and grinned. “That is so sweet.”

“Yes, she and Jasper both agreed that you and I needed some quality time together.” I looked down and noticed that my knee was bouncing up and down nervously. I was like a nervous fucking kid about to get his first kiss.

“I am desperate for some quality time.” She said breathlessly staring down at her hands and avoiding my gaze altogether.

I cleared my throat and brushed my hair out of my eyes. “Yeah, me too actually.”

“I mean, the sessions with Soup, and your dad…those are great and all but…”

“I know.” I tilted my head to the side and felt a jolt of electricity when my eyes locked with hers.

She reached out and softly brushed her fingers over my lips. With a sharp intake of breath she closed her eyes and I felt her body shudder beside me on the bed.

I didn’t need any more encouragement.

I closed the small distance between us quickly and pressed my lips to hers.

She hesitated for a moment and for a few seconds I felt myself begin to panic. Maybe she didn’t want me; maybe she was over me...

She grabbed the back of my head and opened her mouth, hungrily licking at my lips with her tongue. She shifted herself on the bed so she could press her body tightly against mine.

There was a sense of urgency in her kiss and I knew why. We didn’t have long before we were caught by a nurse. If we were going down, we might as well make the most of it. This could be the last time I would have to kiss Bella, to touch her…

The thought made my heart ache and I pushed it back into the far recesses of my mind. I was going to enjoy this moment. I was going to fucking love Bella as much as I could. I wanted to show her that I loved her enough…and that nothing could ever stop that love. Not even our parents own good intentions